I’m sure I’m not the only one who has suddenly realized that there is far less of life ahead of me than there once was. And it happened at breakneck speed. Putting regrets aside, I plan to incorporate more celebration into whatever time may be left. We just don’t really know.
I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Personal loss is inevitable. That’s a given. But circumstances, emotional involvement, and so many other factors play into it. I’m accepting of grief. It’s necessary and a process that is individual to each of us.
My first few years of college involved dabbling in coursework across several disciplines since I didn’t know what I wanted to study in-depth. Thankfully I had an interesting Sociology professor who taught us about Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and her model for the “five stages of grief.” It was one of the first “textbook” theories that made sense to me. I’m not at all textbook-oriented and jettisoned ideas of any career path involving further study of them.
Where is this all coming from? I attended a celebration of life yesterday. It was in honor of a woman I first met in elementary school. She and I were not friends in the traditional sense. I’d say we were acquaintances who each possessed a respect and fondness for the other. I embrace the reappearance of those I’ve known at different stages of my life. It gives me the opportunity to experience the individual from a wonderfully different perspective. And it gives us a chance for an enriched relationship.
I am now clearly able to see the gifts in people that my immature mind wasn’t able to process. I would have to say that my 25-year teaching career also helped with that. I’m an observer. I’m a thinker. I’m highly sensitive. I have a unique ability to spend time with a person, either in person or through written word, and I’m able to come away with a deep, instinctual understanding of the person’s psyche. Look, this isn’t scientific. I find that after an interaction, I just “know” stuff about you. I feel your pain, I feel your joy, and everything in between. I stopped sharing any observations because it has blown up in my face. So much for caring for people.
It’s easy to become mired in routine and drudgery. It’s also easy to become cheerful and kind. A smile and a greeting may go a long way. It takes just a small moment. This is easily seen in Catherine Pulsifer’s Thoughtfulness Shows. “In each gesture, big or small,/Thoughtfulness weaves a magical thrall./A caring touch, a mindful gaze,/Brightens up the darkest of days.” Perhaps a tad schmaltzy but it’s cheerful.
And most people from my era will recall Simon & Garfunkel’s wise words, “When you’re weary/Feeling small/ When tears are in your eyes/I will dry them all/I’m on your side…”. Resolve to do a kindness each day. It takes very little effort.
Stories Are For Eternity 