The skinny on weight loss…

It’s simple. Eat fewer calories than you expend. The quality of the calories plays into it as well. But, that’s the bottom line.

The skinny on me is I wasn’t always fat, obese, a whale…call it what you will. I was active through college. An operation created hormonal imbalances in my body. Coupled with that, my anxiety levels went through the roof (see also, hormonal imbalances). I ate for comfort. First I spent a few years consuming lots of alcohol. I stopped that in my late 20s and became a severe over-eater.

I was raised to eat in a healthy manner. My mother provided balanced meals. I wasn’t a picky eater so I ate my share of fruits and vegetables. I even ate liver once a month. Typing that made me wince and shiver at the same time.

It was a treat to go out for an ice cream cone. Mostly we had homemade desserts and cookies. Drinking a soda was also a treat. I can only blame my weight gain on myself. I’m not lazy, I’m not a slob, I’m not a moron. And yet, here I am fighting the food demons daily. I’ve been on pretty much every diet, weight loss program, you name it. I’ve maintained my unhealthy weight for a few decades, never letting it get beyond a certain point.

I’m more than capable. I’ve been to nutritionists. What I cannot seem to do is to control the mental health demons that drive me to eat and eat some more. You might be saying that you’ve eaten meals with me and wouldn’t say that I overate at all. That’s true. I’m not going to give anyone fuel to hurt me with ugly words. Those of us with this issue know how to “cope.” A person might have a “stash” at home. Or might zip through the drive-thru on the way home from eating with friends. I’ve done both. Believe me, I’m not proud.

In our modern day and age, weight loss medications are all the rage. I have type II diabetes controlled by insulin. I’ve had the opportunity to try many of the oral meds from their inception, as well as the injectable’s. And, oh yeah, another nod to that surgery I had…I’m not able to tolerate some meds and foods. Do they cause me problems? Yes, but it’s not minor inconveniences…it’s horrible stomach pain along with all that comes with gastrointestinal distress.

Now, I’m not a doctor nor do I claim to know much about chemistry but I know when it’s time to stop putting stuff into my body (except for food, obviously). I’ve dutifully tried the new crop of weight loss drugs in a huge attempt to lower my blood sugars.

Thankfully my endocrinologist is part of a large group who are assailed by large numbers of sales reps. I’m always willing to try something that may help me so last spring I spoke with one of the diabetes educators about the types of insulin pumps that are on the market. In July I received some training for my new insulin pump. It’s marketed as a “bionic pancreas.” And it is, more or less.

It has the job of providing my body the correct amount of insulin it needs. My job is to change infusion sets every two days and also to refill the insulin when it runs out.

This is the pump in its most basic form. The tubing attaches the pump to the needle at the infusion site. For me it’s my stomach or the side of my stomach, just above my waist. The gizmo in the upper-right hand corner is a continuous glucose monitor. Often worn on the back of the upper arm, it communicates wirelessly to the pump to keep it informed of my blood sugar readings. The pump uses its algorithm to determine how much insulin I need and dispenses some every five minutes. The only thing I do is to “announce” my meals. I tell the pump if I’m eating more, the usual, or less of each meal. The pump has taught itself what amount of carbs I eat and bases the insulin required on that.

Back to calories in and the quality of such….I just had a checkup. Even eating badly as I often do, my a1c level, a measure of average blood sugar over the last three months, decreased by 1 1/2%. That’s big, for me. Using the pump has been a learning curve but I’m glad I persisted. It also means one needle insertion every 24-36 hours instead of 4-7 shots per day.

Last week I woke up and my legs were aching badly. Hauling myself around creates a strain. I’ve had one total knee replacement and the other knee is screaming for relief. Oh, and a hip is complaining loudly. I am fully aware of what my body has had to bear. Does that stop my binge eating? Why, no. No it doesn’t.

So take the new weight loss meds. My body is unable to tolerate them. Ok, then have that gastric bypass surgery. Ah, no. I already have GI issues. From those with whom I’ve spoken, the surgery can manifest itself in loads of GI issues involving the bathroom. Plus my stomach is fine. Why would I irreparably change it?

Calorie quality. There is one weight loss plan that is sensible and works as long as you work it according to plan. When I do, I’ve lost weight and my blood sugars are much lower. I’ve started it at least 25 different times. Will this be the time it sticks? Will this be the time that my binge eating demons will be exorcised? Let’s hope so, even in a small way. I’m no stranger to pain and I have a high pain threshold. But I’m tired of the pain, so tired. I despise that there is so much I’m unable to do any more because of the pain.

As Kenny Loggin’s voice parades through my head…”Are you gonna wait for a sign, your miracle?/Stand up and fight.” I’ve got to. My body tells me so. My mind has other ideas.

It’s back to following Weight Watchers where no food is off limits. You learn to plan and prepare. And if you follow the plan, you can eat a more than satisfying amount of food…the good calorie stuff.